Widowhood

With the death of a partner, the way that your life works and your expectations of the future change permanently. Grief is a deeply personal experience; it is unpredictable, often surprising, and can last longer than you expect. Grieving is physically, mentally, and emotionally taxing. The rule of thumb is to defer significant decisions for a year, as emotional turmoil impedes clear thinking and sound judgment. Healing and reflecting on the next phase of your journey is necessary, but the amount of time it takes varies by person. However, not everything can be put on hold---there are bills and taxes due; benefits to be claimed; investments to be managed. This is not a time to DIY. You will need advice, but select your advisor carefully.

Most financial advisors do not have the training or skills to guide a widow or widower during emotionally challenging periods. Often, advisors are uncomfortable with the client’s distress and anxiety, so they retreat to the technical information they know best and are too quick to tell the widow/widower what they should do. They fail to really listen. In the short run, this may seem easier for the widow/widower. But such actions result in dependency or procrastination, with neither serving the client well over time.
Financial advice to widows and widowers is most effectively delivered by an advisor who is trained in how change and adaptive challenges are experienced. They know how to listen, interpret and act to help clients transition, and recognize that priorities and even values will shift and that change is important. They understand the various stages of transition and can assess how much a widow or widower can handle at a given moment. They’ll make sure, however, that time-sensitive matters are fully addressed.